Learn to let go. Sex is an act of self-care, which means it’s important for your mental wellbeing, too. So, whether you opt for mutual masturbation, love a sneaky quickie, or fancy a slow burner, let yourself enjoy the moment. Be mindful: instead of stressing about reaching orgasm (or the dust on your bedroom floor!), pay attention to how your body is responding, the sensations you’re feeling and how your partner’s body feels and responds, too.
Intimacy is crucial to a healthy relationship. It doesn’t always need to involve sex, either: why not stretch and unwind while doing a yoga class together? Of course, being open about what turns you on is a sure-fire way to light up your libido. For a saucy starter next date night, discuss something sexual your partner did that you loved or an area where you’d like to try a change (maybe a move you didn’t enjoy or a new one you’d like to consider)? Finish up with something you appreciate/enjoy about your partner. You’ll be racing each other to the boudoir before you can say ‘50 shades of wahey!’
Bare all, slowly. Get the lighting right (no one wants a fluorescent bulb shining on their love handles). Plan what will make you feel good – whether it’s wearing a certain make-up look/fabrics/lingerie, or using a tried-and-tested playlist. Give yourself room so he/she/they can see you in all your seductive glory. Wear things that are easy to take off (skin-tight jeans = huge potential for falling over). And don’t have too many layers – this is meant to be seductive, not pass-the-parcel! Use eye contact to your advantage, too: hold their gaze in an ‘I’m in charge’ way or ignore them, teasingly. Enjoy!
Instigate some fun: While smartphones are generally a no-go in the bedroom, there are some great apps for raunchy fun. Sex Roulette has five saucy couple games, from Truth Or Dare to Sexy Scenarios for straight or gay couples. Free app Desire is all about sending your other half naughty dares to earn points, while Sex Positions 3D gives you some great moves to try, and illustrates them in – you guessed it – 3D!
Durex condoms are also useful in helping you to relax – after all, condoms are the only form of birth control that protects you from both pregnancy (with 98% efficacy) and STIs[i]. But pleasure is a huge priority, too, which is why Durex Thin Feel Ultra Thin Condoms are super light for extra sensation; Durex Thin Feel Close Fit Condoms are a slimmer, closer fit for enhanced sensitivity; and Durex Thin Feel Extra Lubricated Condoms help make things smoother and more comfortable. (If you need extra help, try the Durex Naturals Lubricant range – the water-based formulas will ensure a night of smooth loving, in every sense!)
Orgasm doesn’t always need to be your end goal. Great consensual sex with someone you’re really into can still make you feel relaxed, happy, loved, pleasured and fulfilled, even if things don’t end with an, erm, bang. So take the pressure off and have fun!